I am a Hindu and I don’t eat beef because the cow is our holy animal. People who eat beef are a shame to our country and should be banished from here. I tie up cows to trees for their entire life. I feed them hay regularly and even take them grazing twice a day. This act of kindness bestows great blessings upon me and will send me to heaven once I am dead.
Treating the cow with such kindness makes me its owner, gives me the right to press and squeeze milk out of the cow’s udders - milk that is meant for the cow’s newly born baby calf.
I follow other intelligent practices like not eating meat 3 days a week. I fast every Thursday & visit the temple every morning. On my way to work, I eat the prasadam and throw the plastic it came in outside my window. I also spit on roads and pee on the sidewalk sometimes; unless, of course, there are pictures of Gods & Goddesses put up. In that case, I find the next suitable public place to spit and pee.
I do not eat fish for a month every year since it is their breeding season. I give up on meat and eggs too during this time. A few days later, I send out toxic colours, plaster of paris, plastic and other harmful substances into the ocean - all in the name of God. The newly hatched fish babies need some toys to play with, right!? Which baby doesn’t like to choke & die after all?
I am an ardent believer in God and my God is pretty unorthodox so I blast my speakers, dance to the loud music mostly playing raunchy songs while worshiping my God. I get drunk too which gives me the authority to molest the next girl I spot because the roads are crowded and I can get away with it.
I have attacked people with plastic balloons filled with water, color & what-not; no one’s ever taught me that it’s wrong! I burst crackers while celebrating my festivals - crackers that not only kill countless dogs, cats & other animals every year, but human beings too. Oh wait, did a cow just die because of me? Never mind, I am a Hindu and I don’t eat beef!
P.S. This post is not intended to hurt anyone's religious sentiments and is purely a description of how I am as a person.
Treating the cow with such kindness makes me its owner, gives me the right to press and squeeze milk out of the cow’s udders - milk that is meant for the cow’s newly born baby calf.
I follow other intelligent practices like not eating meat 3 days a week. I fast every Thursday & visit the temple every morning. On my way to work, I eat the prasadam and throw the plastic it came in outside my window. I also spit on roads and pee on the sidewalk sometimes; unless, of course, there are pictures of Gods & Goddesses put up. In that case, I find the next suitable public place to spit and pee.
I do not eat fish for a month every year since it is their breeding season. I give up on meat and eggs too during this time. A few days later, I send out toxic colours, plaster of paris, plastic and other harmful substances into the ocean - all in the name of God. The newly hatched fish babies need some toys to play with, right!? Which baby doesn’t like to choke & die after all?
I am an ardent believer in God and my God is pretty unorthodox so I blast my speakers, dance to the loud music mostly playing raunchy songs while worshiping my God. I get drunk too which gives me the authority to molest the next girl I spot because the roads are crowded and I can get away with it.
I have attacked people with plastic balloons filled with water, color & what-not; no one’s ever taught me that it’s wrong! I burst crackers while celebrating my festivals - crackers that not only kill countless dogs, cats & other animals every year, but human beings too. Oh wait, did a cow just die because of me? Never mind, I am a Hindu and I don’t eat beef!
P.S. This post is not intended to hurt anyone's religious sentiments and is purely a description of how I am as a person.
